We all say that we to work on that. But, what does self-care even mean?
I can’t tell you the number of surface-level Facebook posts I see that preach about self-care. They say it is is all about taking baths with one of those weird bath bomb things, getting your hair done, using a face mask. Girly stuff like that.
Sure, that is all great. It might even relax you for a certain period of time. My question is this: how does that help you on the inside? How are you processing the things in life that made you go sit in the tub in the first place?
I would love to be one of those “sitting by the candle light listening to Enya in the tub” types of girls.
But I’m not.
I did used to do the bath thing. I even do the face mask thing. The problem is that once the clothes come off I am sitting in a pool of water with my fat rolls being well…fat rolls. When I take of the face mask, my face is still my face (a face I have loathed my entire life) .
You know why those things aren’t relaxing to me? or to others?
Self esteem, hurt, pain, trauma, stress, and all of that other negative crap.
Self care is more than all of that. Self care is letting yourself scream into an oblivion when the anger is too much. Self care is letting yourself cry so hard you make yourself sick. It is taking your medication, taking out the garbage, and remembering to eat food. Even if you don’t think you need to remember to do these things, you do. I know perfectly functional people who don’t get enough sleep, or eat junk food because they don’t take the time to plan a meal.
That is how mental warfare happens. You don’t deescalate the situation, but you let all of those sleepless nights, all of that junk, and all of that stress pile up. It is unresolved conflict. And, we all know, that between two countries, if there is conflict, there will be war.
Learn to settle the score between the two countries of the human psyche; the body and the mind. Do it fast. Do it now
Learn to keep the peace.